Welcome to Build Your Big!
It's our first BYB newsletter! 🥰
I am SO glad you’re here!
Build Your Big is a supportive community that’s all about helping you gain momentum on your most meaningful goals. We’re gonna get the damn thing done, and have an amazing time doing it ✨
For those who don’t really know me yet, hi! I’m Amber…I’m the author of 3 books; I’ve been blogging since 2004; I talk about myself a lot on IG Stories; and I’m not only the president of Build Your Big, I’m also a client.
So, I had this whole nice little newsletter and exercise all ready to go for today, but then I got rocked to my FREAKING CORE this morning in a way that I think might also be helpful to others as a great starting point, so we’re pivoting.
(We’ve all seen the Friends “pivot” GIF, so just imagine that it’s right here; I promise you, that’s just as good as the actual thing)
Last night I started reading (the Audible version of) Rich as F*ck by Amanda Frances. One thing you should know about me is that I am spirit-led, and a lot of answers tend to show up for me in media. I’ll have some sort of request or prayer, and the next thing I know, I’m hitting up this IG account I saw this other person post and then I’m listening to the podcast that other person linked to, and BOOM - there’s my question being spoken out loud, in almost the exact phrasing I used, followed by a very clear, strong, and specific answer.
And look, I know this stuff can weird some people out, but just watch Mariah Carey’s Glitter if you haven’t already and then just pretend that I’m Mariah Carey and these happenings are the glitter, and then it will all make perfect, concrete sense!
ANYWAY - so I was led to Amanda’s book in a very similar way, and after forcing myself to turn it off and go to sleep, I couldn’t wait to dig into it this morning. She gives homework in every chapter, which I fully committed to doing (normally I skip that stuff, because 2 Kool 4 Skool).
One of the chapters had homework centered around getting in touch with the deepest desires of your heart (I’ll include the first handful of questions here so you know what I’m talking about, and then will add the full exercise down below so you can try it for yourself):
If nothing I wanted were bad or wrong, what would I want?
If no matter what I did, no one would be mad at me, what would I want?
If nothing bad would happen no matter what I did, what would I want?
If no matter what I wanted, it would happen, what would I want?
If I could trust myself fully to do my part in the creation of getting what I want, what would I want?
Reader, I’ve done work around this topic a thousand times, and currently feel pretty in touch with my deepest desires (almost all of them involve turning the stories tumbling around in my imagination into amazing, immersive pieces of literary & film magic). So this really should not have wrecked me the way that it did this morning.
But I think what tipped me off was listening to something yesterday while on a walk with my dog, and they mentioned George Lucas and the USC screenwriting program. I felt a drop in my gut as I thought about how much I’ve always wanted to do that. I’ll just have to make sure I do it all in my next life, I found myself thinking. Like, am I really going to be a 40+ student attending screenwriting classes at USC?? Am I really going to move to LA so I can be the oldest PA in the history of Hollywood PA’s??
But when I did these questions this morning, I felt the answers for the last three flow out of my fingers and onto the keyboard. I’d move to LA and start working in Hollywood. I’d become a PA and learn from the ground up, I’d go to USC and learn screenwriting and movie-making from the greats, I’d work on productions like Willow, I’d make my own fairytales and sweeping epic movies and just laugh all the time while I made magic with the most talented, magical people on earth. I’d start my own podcast about entertainment, I’d write a ton of books and movies, I’d create fun skits and productions that felt funny and magical.
And then I literally broke down and SOBBED about how I want that all so much and don’t want my life to pass me by without at least experiencing some of it.
And yes, this newsletter is turning out to be equivalent of the drunk girl in the bar bathroom who simply decides to share something about herself that will ensure that every woman in that bathroom at that exact time will now be bonded to her and with each other for life (and frankly, I’ve never been unhappy about it when that’s happened 💁🏻♀️).
So anyway, sh*t is powerful.
And now it’s your turn! I’ve included the entire exercise below (I re-wrote almost everything except for the five questions, though, just to ensure we’re not committing crappy copyright crimes - however, all credit still goes to Amanda Frances). For the full-bodied experience, please pick up Amanda’s book here.
Allow yourself to tap into the deepest desires of your heart and go into a steam of consciousness as you answer these questions. Don’t edit yourself, don’t judge, and don’t second-guess; just allow what wants to come out to come.
1) If nothing I wanted were bad or wrong, what would I want?
2) If no matter what I did, no one would be mad at me, what would I want?
3) If nothing bad would happen no matter what I did, what would I want?
4) If no matter what I wanted, it would happen, what would I want?
5) If I could trust myself fully to do my part in the creation of getting what I want, what would I want?
Now go through your answers and notice what your limiting beliefs say you can’t have. List those out, too, even the smallest fears and pettiest “But only __ can do ___” beliefs.
Now scrutinize that sh*t, because anything that says you can’t have a genuine, deep desire of your heart is a lie. It’s just a bunch of ideas and beliefs that you or other people you’ve listened to or watched decided to subscribe to. Ask yourself:
Do I know this is true?
Who said or says it’s true? (and do they know for sure that it’s true for ALL people, absolutely no exceptions?)
Does it have to be true?
Most of the time, that last answer is going to be no, and it SHOULD be no. That’s how we hit UNSUBSCRIBE to those limiting beliefs and the fears that hold us back.
And here’s how we close the circle:
Make a list of everything you would need in order to give yourself those deep desires, and in the absolute best way possible.
For instance, one of my biggest fears about moving to LA is how expensive everyone says it is: “Everyone” says it’s so hard to find a good, affordable apartment and everything is so expensive out there, etc. But I also know that doesn’t have to be true for me, and that it’s really all a matter of perspective.
So in order to support myself in my dreams and unsubscribe from that belief, it’s my job to list out all the things I can do to ensure a move to LA is the most exciting, joyful, easy move ever. That could mean building up stacks on stacks of passive income; that could mean making connections to people who own rental properties; that could mean stealing Robert Pattinson away from Suki Waterhouse and moving in with him. Y’see what I mean?
So do it. Take those limiting beliefs and run them through those 5 questions again, making a list of all the things you could do to ensure that things turn out the exact opposite from what those fears are cautioning against.
And then look at that list and decide which ones you wanna start working on first. Because we are GOING after those DREAMS, baby!!!!
And then, my friends, I invite you to come to our Build Your Big daily work sprints (every morning at 8 AM CST, via Zoom) this week to start working on all of it. They are 1 hour containers of focused time for you to do whatever will serve you and your dreams the best. Some are using them to start their first book, others are using them to sketch out their business plan, and a few are using them to get clarity on what, exactly, they want their Big to be.
They’re social, but not if you don't want them to be! You don’t have to talk to anyone, and you don’t have to show your face if you don’t want to.
They are also not the kind of thing where I’m like, “It’s freeee!!!” and then it just ends up being a way to get you in a room so I can sell you something. Baby, I ain’t got nothin’ to sell (except paid subscriptions, but those are responsible for selling themselves, so…). It’s literally just a thing that has worked for me, that I’m gonna be doing anyway, so I decided to open it up to others that it might work for, too.
They are straight-up MAGIC, though, when you’ve got a goal and you’re using that time to accomplish it. You’ll be amazed at how fast that time seems to fly, yet how much you also manage to get done ✨
Anyway, now that I’ve confessed my deepest, most dearly-held desires to you all, I’m gonna head out 👍🏻
Thanks again for being here, and I hope you have an amazing week 💜
-AC
Body Adventures with AC
This week I launched Body Adventures with AC! You can opt in to Body Adventures posts here (you are not automatically subscribed to it) and score a front row seat as I train for COPPATREK! in June - and, ultimately, work toward my latest “Big” of shedding 120 lbs of fat from my bodacious bod. Body Adventures isn’t just about getting swole, though (yeah, I’m on TikTok, I’m down with the slang of today): It’s about showing up for yourself, making a commitment, and (finally) doing it for right reasons.
You can read the first post here.